April 19th, 2010
|04:22 pm - thanks to Vagina...i mean LK...|
super special awsome vagina transformation vagina GO!
ATTENTION DUELISTS! my hair has a vagina!
holy vagina on a vagina sandwich...with vagina on top.
long ago, my vagina set out on a quest to find the seven milenium vaginas...
XD i'm sure i'll think of more vagina...
April 12th, 2010
and there. my weekend and the start of the week goes from horrible to worse. jani has officially decided that we're not friends anymore.
April 11th, 2010
The Paralells between my life, and that of Tsuzuki from Yami no Matsuei are actually kinda scary.
Tsuzuki had to die to find peace. I'm thinking that if i metaphorically kill myself. completely change as a person in every way possible, perhaps i can find some too. i don't really want to wait until i'm litterally dead to find some sembalance of happieness.
unlike Tsuzuki however, my scars are not visible. i cannot hide them behind a stylish wrist watch.
Wakaba is buisy with her own life, and Terazuma.
The Sadistic doctor finally decided to move on to a new victim.
and now i'm dealing with the loss of tatsumi.
where is hisoka?
April 10th, 2010
it's times like this that i really want a smoke. and a drink...and maybe a good fuck...
and mos threteningto quit her job again. and i want to kill myself because everything is always my fault.
so dad decided to be a prick and throw away all the chicken and hamburger because i left a bag on the counter for an hour after i got home.
and a can of soda
and automatically he doesn't ever have counter space.
so i'm going to start taking pictures. because i'm a lieing bitch. and nothing i do or say is ever good enough.
and now he's never going to the store ever again, and he's never going to cook ever again. and he's just going to lay on his ass some more and still do nothing at all to help out around the house.
so now i'm not ever going to do his dishes anymore. and he'll be lucky if i need his clothes to do a load of laundry. he is such a fucking dickwad. i'm so sick of it. he never notices what i do. it's always when i fall short. and then he can't ever remember when i havent.
on top of a lot of other shit that i can't get into. i just want to feel pain right now. i don't even care if i get a broken rib, i just want to be punched. and i want to stick myself with anything sharp.
April 8th, 2010
it makes no difference that i would bleed
it means nothing anymore that i would die
it makes no sense to feel anymore
for what you have become
for what i have forsaken
how did you miss it
how was it never clear
how can you survive
without me there
without you here
if i could take away the pain
if i could take away the tears
if i could wish us into a new reality
where words flow like blood
where hearts never wither
what did i do to deserve this
what price did i blindly pay
what punishment do i recieve
in order to take you away
in order to keep you here
i've been thinking lately that i'm not human
i've been thinking lately of what i could be
i've been thinking lately of how to survive
without being you
without being me
April 6th, 2010
|08:48 pm - okay so the dentist|
went to the dentist today. i was thankful today that they made sure was seccurely numb. i say this because all the times i've been before to other dentists, they didn't. i've suffered 6 pulled teeth 3 root canals, and inumerable fillings withot enough novacain. they all told me it was all in my head.
but this time it went okay. i was really scared at first, but they gave me the gas and wow was that amasing. seriously. i need to do that every time. i didn't feel shit. on top of my body being all floaty, i barely felt the first needle, and they used like 6 after that consecutivly and then two more right before they started.
god did i hurt afterword for a while though. i feel a lot better now. they gave me 700mg heavy pain killers and for some reason, anti biotics.
April 3rd, 2010
When the wind screams above me
I don’t know you today
My thoughts in isolation
My soul has gone astray
And I scream
But no one there can hear me
And I beg
But the world has fallen away
And I run
But my legs won’t carry me today
March 30th, 2010
i feel sick. and i can't stop crying. my stomack hurts, my eyes hurt, my head hurts. i just cannot understand why people can be so fucking mean without reason. i thought they liked me when i met them. they acted like they did. and six months go by and they ignore me, and then i try to talk to them, and they block me. if i had met them on the internet, it wouldn't hurt at all. i met them irl. and i liked them. and i wanted them to like me. but i don't even know what i did wrong. and it just really fucking hurts. it seems so easy to be friends for other people. but i'm 26 and i still cannot relate correctly to people. i just don't get what is so fucking wrong with me that people won't even give me half a glance.
i'm tired and this fucking tooth is taking forever to grow in and my appointment to take it out isn't until next tuesday. :/
March 29th, 2010
slight change in dental plans.
going to have my wisdom teeth pulled next tuesday. they hurt. a lot. because they're growing in and my gums hut like hell. >< they're going to cut open the gum extract the teeth, and sew me up. yay stitches!
i want it to be easter. >> i don't know if lucifer is just having a good laugh or if i'm only noticing because it's so close but i swear every where i go there's pasta of some kind.
they had a pasta sale at publix the other day. 4 boxes for $1. what the hell is that about? they don't do sales like that when i CAN eat it. omg pain. and then grandmas like "so and so brught in spagetti..." -.- i could have lived without knowing that.
and every time i open the drawer to get stuff, it's stareing me in the bloody face. D<
March 27th, 2010
ssc or scc or whatever the fuck it's called now.
we go on monday, they tell us there are still openings and to come back on saturday morning at 9:30 am. the paper says 9 am, and the website says 8 am. mom calls on friday and gets the same run arround that i do. now she understands why i don't want to call there, ever.
i get there at 9:15. they tell me there are not openings. she has 36 students she's only supposed to have 25 and there's no where to sit. classes start again in may, she'll call me.
March 25th, 2010
|08:11 pm - um, yeah NO|
i went to look on craigslist just for the hell of it to see what yugioh cards were going for. >> this one guy. the title line is "YUIGIOH CARDS CHEAP! $2030." um what? so i click on it to see what cards. he has a stack of about 60, all beat to hell, saying there are a lot of rares and good cards and there are some that were not made anyone *at least i think!* < not kidding, he actually put this.
okay okay, this just amused me. from yahoo news.
island sinks under ocean.
NEW DELHI – For nearly 30 years, India and Bangladesh have argued over control of a tiny rock island in the Bay of Bengal. Now rising sea levels have resolved the dispute for them: the island's gone.
XD only reality can be so much stranger than fiction.
edit: lol told cyble about this.
CielMichaelis23 10:34 pm
CielMichaelis23 (10:34:56 PM):
two countries were fighting for 30 years over a non inhabitable island. but just three days ago, the ocean settled their dispute by reclaiming it.
CielMichaelis23 (10:34:57 PM):
CielMichaelis23 (10:35:44 PM):
^ totally true
CielMichaelis23 10:37 pm
CielMichaelis23 (10:37:23 PM):
XD bengal: it's mine! india: NO! IT'S MINE! the ocean: hahaha no bitches, it's mine! *swallows* yum.
March 22nd, 2010
so i owe the dentist 22,000. can i shoot myself?
March 20th, 2010
ah to take a hundred pills and slowly drift away
would be better to spend a day in hell than continue live this way
sceenic the fires of the never ending burn
would yet still better be than the wheel on which i turn
March 17th, 2010
|07:58 pm - this is disturbing...|
i'm not one to jump to conclusions so of course my initial reaction is, this is a group of shit heads trying to scare the zellots. like the 2012 shit. which pisses me off. the LAST thing we need are a bunch of fundies going all phycho over some dickwad who's not even real...
it pisses me off on an "The zeitgueist movie" level.
however, if this is not a hoax site and there really is some lunatic running around calling himself the christ than i am actually very concerned. i will not say this is the antichrist as so far i have seen no signs and maricals, but i do think it's worth looking into a bit further.
this "star" however i'm 99.99% sure is VENUS. which i have had the pleasure of seeing on my birthday. Venus is attributed to a number of ufo sitings around the world.
i can say, having seen it that i understand why people think it's a solid object in earth atmosphear. it's actually really neet looking because it DOES look like a solid object about a planes height from the earth. i'll have to see if i can find the picture i took of it. for someone who's never heard of seeing the planet, it's a creepy sight.
looking just a bit further into the website tells me this is more than likely another 2012 type movement with articals like "UFO's and their spiritual meaning."
my personal stance on aliens as the media knows of them is complete bullshit. if they're able to flash through space and not get flattened or die on the way than we'd have come up with a way around the inumerable problems presented with space travel like this.
on a side note, what the fuck kind of name is Maitreya?!
my soup venture was a sucess!
okay, don't be scared my it's ingreediants. i was slightly deturred at first but WOW.
- 1 tablespoon butter or vegetable oil
- 1 onion, chopped
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 green chile peppers, chopped
- 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
- 1 teaspoon cardamom
- 1 tablespoon curry
- 1 carrot, chopped
- 1 apple - peeled, cored, and chopped
- 1 large potato, peeled and diced
- 8 cups chicken broth
- 1 tablespoon tamarind concentrate
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
- 2 cups milk
Happy St Patrick's day!
like a good Irish woman i'll be in the kitchen most of the day. I'm going to find a bunch of Irish (mostly celtic) music for a play list and cook corned beef and cabbage, and i'm going to see if if i can try a new soup recipy. Mulligatawny soup.
March 15th, 2010
why is it i go through fifteen + years of not going to the dentist perfectly fine but then when i get an appointment everythin goes to hell?
so the absess is almost gone but my lower right jaw is now killing me. it seems like i can't stop eating pain pills. and they aren't even the fun kind...
so tomorrow maybe i'll find out what's wrong with it. hopefully nothing too serious. i actually think i might have pulled a muscle just because of all the screaming i did last friday and intermitatly through the week.
in other news, i look forward to the flames i get from my next ff.n post. should give me something to laugh at.
March 13th, 2010
seriously...why does it always have to be my fault?
i didn't ask them to refinance the house again to pay for my teeth.
i didn't ask her to get this dentist appointment for me.
i didn't ask him to start looking into other ways for us to pay for my teeth.
and it's not my fault i ended up with an absess. i mean brush my teeth twice a day on scedual for three weeks and suddenly in 8 hours my face blows up. i was terrified because if you let infections go for too long you can die from them and she was going to make me wait until monday.
it's all my fault she can't study because dad looked up the info for my teeth. which are an embarassment.
she's threatened i don't know how many fucking times in the last two fucking weeks to take away my computer and my phone. i fucking hate her right now. i've been busting my ass on the laundry and keeping the kitchen clean and the trash picked up.
don't you know you're almost thirty? yes i know i'm almost thirty. and with every second that goes by i can feel myself ageing. i don't honestly believe i'm going to live past sixty. there are things i want to do. things i want to experience. places i want to go.
it's not my fault this country relies so heavily on a piece of paper. it really fucking isn't. just because i'm really slow at math doesn't mean i can't run circles around a lot of other people. people who have that fucking piece of paper. it's meaningless to me.
i have applied to places i know i can't even hope to survive at. places i hate. but i need the job and the money so i apply anyway. but they won't call me back. what am i supposed to do?
you say my crafts aren't good enough. you say my art isn't good enough. i can't get you to read one mother fucking page of anything that i write because no matter how old i get or what i accomplish i will NEVER be good enough for you. ever.
i'm not you. i don't want to dress like you. i don't want the same work you do. i'm not religious and i cannot blame every single problem in my life on the devil. no, the devil is not making me scratch at the white shit in my hair. he's not making me scared of people.
i have my own issues. and as much as i'd love a scape goat, satan is not one of them.
i suppose i'm mixed on this one. because it was smuggled *x3 likely by the yakuza *caugh* mercadies *caugh* IN LA!! OMG!!!* < no no i realize just cause thet's they're cars doesn't mean it's them. x/////3 but you can let a girl dream right?
anyway the way they obtained it and the fact it was indangered is not kosher. but this at least means the whales the japanese are hunting are at least somewhat going to good use. i don't believe in killing an animal for the sheer sake of studying it. i'd rather it go to food or products afterword. i also believe the whale hunting scare is seriously hyped up. i think that "save the whales" show where the people were fucking lunaticks severely hurt any chance of them being taken seriously.
i can understand the need to preserve a spicies. but to hide on an iceburg and wait to torpedo a boat to stop them from killing a wale? after they just got finished explaining that if someone were to fall into the water it would be almost instant death? these men on these boats killing these whales are more than likely doing it because they need to support their families. it's a special kind of sick that can kill any animal without a reason that can be justified *even if that justification is in their own head* and there are too many people involved for them all to be like that.
in retrospect, i'm kind of curious as to what whale tastes like now...
March 12th, 2010
March 11th, 2010
people are fucking assholes. you'd think we're still living in the fucking dark ages. i hope she sues after this. for those who don't want to click the link, basically a school in mississippi CANCELED the senior prom because a girl wanted to bring her girlfriend and wear a tux. i'm sorry, i don't really give a shit if you think it's wrong to be gay, because this is just bullshit. right or wrong everyone in this world deserves equel rights.
PLACE HOLDER FOR CHAPTER WHATEVER OF MY HELLSING FIIIIIIC~
XD;;; i'm kinda uber tired and i need a naaaaaaap
March 9th, 2010
so it turns out it wasn't cheese after all. it was an absessed tooth being retarded.
my gumbs are swollen pretty large and i'm just hoping with the anti biotics i got saturday that it'll be gone by the 15th which is my dentists appointment.
March 5th, 2010
So as it comes to an end
all he has ever said or done
now matters less
serious in all
not light and tall
and what you do is not the answer
to someone else it doesn't matter
in your eyes again
(all the time)
to the sound of the underground
in your mind again
(all the time)
it stays in your head
this time for good
when you opened your arms
you are the reason for his life
and how you do it is not the answer
to a certain someone it never mattered
in your eyes again
(all the time)
to the sound of the underground
in your mind again
(all the time)
it stays in your head
this time for good
and it stays this time for good
well fuck a duck. i'm alergic to cheese. all this sinus preasure and shit? cheese.
March 4th, 2010
;o; the OMG i want pasta sooooo bad just hit.
and we have 6 boxes of the whole grain like 4 boxes of the regular stuff, 15 boxes of mac and cheese...
i'm eating eggs...
March 3rd, 2010
the world has officially lost it.
osama bin laudin is making a plea for global warming. and now sarah palin is going to be playing tina faye in an upcoming lasvagas show.
March 1st, 2010
karma. this is what happened last time you blew me off. hopefully you'll get the picture this time.
February 26th, 2010
so i want to know. why has she always been so much better than me?
February 20th, 2010
and once again i'm the invisible one.
February 16th, 2010
pulled an all nighter. i'll be cleaning now. lets see how far i get before i pass out.
sunday after i got back from C&Cs i went to bed around....6ish. was woken at 7. went back to sleep at 8. was woken at 10 am to my cousin telling me they were putting her cat to sleep.
been up ever since. and it's freezing. so this'll be interesting. i just have to keep up and moving with music on. or i'll fall asleep.
i'm hoping i won't get bad news today. but i'm sad. two cats in one week, one a two month old who i'd asked for in the first place because they weren't taking care of it. and now my babies brother. less sad for simon even if he was neglected by them, i loved him. so he was loved and that's all that matters. every time i see her cats, i tell them i love them. so they know that someone cares.
snickers is doing pretty well so i'mnot too worried. it's still very sad though.
i guess i'ma shut up, turn the heat on, cooks some eggs, and down a couple pills to see how far that gets me.
once i dreamed that i could fly
I looked down on the world as it went by
but this freedom was not to last
as i realized how much time had past
February 14th, 2010
my tiger butter ended up without stripes because i couldn't get the chocolate the right consistancy. but it came up with a smilie face <3
February 11th, 2010
O O HOLY FUCK! I THINK THERE WAS JUST AN EARTH QUAKE!
okay so i was sitting here and i heard this weird rumbling right? and then the whole floor started trembling and it even vibrated stuff on my desk and then it was gone! we have trucks that pass all the time and stuff and they don't make the floor/objects vibrate! it took place at 3:09 am. was anyone else up to feel/hear this?!
February 8th, 2010
can all the valentines day shit die now please?
February 7th, 2010
fdgdjgfdityrihgljh sorry rose. i will text you when i post. e.e tired and coooooold. have fun tonight.
February 5th, 2010
you know that scene in the movie "orphan" where the chick is throwing a royal tantrum in the bathroom at the shrinks office? that's what i'm doing in my head right now because there's nothing to beat or break and no one takes me seriously when i say i want someone to hit me. fucking abuse me damnit. i have the feeling that's the only way i'm ever going to let go of this.
February 2nd, 2010
why do i find this childishly amusing?
NARITA, Japan – A Chinese activist who has spent more than three months living inside Tokyo's international airport said Tuesday that Chinese officials have given him permission to return home.
Feng Zhenghu has been camping out at Narita International Airport since early November to protest China's refusal to let him enter his homeland. Feng had angered the Chinese government with writings on alleged wrongdoing by local authorities and for supporting student protests.
Feng had already announced Sunday that he had decided to end his protest after meeting with officials from the Chinese Embassy last week. But it wasn't clear until Tuesday whether China would allow him to re-enter the country — he had been denied entry eight times since June, prompting his protest.
"Chinese officials told me that they are giving me permission to go back to Shanghai," Feng, 55, told reporters Tuesday at the airport terminal, where reporters were allowed in by security.
He said he planned to enter Japan on Wednesday before heading back to Shanghai for the Chinese New Year in mid-February.
Feng said Tuesday that he was certain that this attempt to return home would be successful.
"I won't be rejected again. That would be impossible," he said. "If that happens, it's not my problem. It's the Chinese government's problem."
On his last attempt to return, he got as far as Shanghai's Pudong airport, where Chinese officials forced him to get back on a plane for Tokyo, which arrived Nov. 4.
Despite holding a valid Chinese passport and a visa to enter Japan, Feng refused to pass immigration control as a protest against China's government. He used a laptop and mobile phone to talk to supporters and post on blogs and social networking sites such as Twitter.
Amnesty International describes Feng, who spent three years in prison, as a prominent human rights defender.
As word of Feng's predicament spread, he became something of a celebrity, with his situation reminiscent of that of the stateless man played by Tom Hanks who was stuck at an airport in the movie "The Terminal."
Staying in a restricted area near immigration control, Feng had no access to vending machines or a food court and survived on food and clothes provided by tourists passing by. He used a sink inside a restroom to wash himself.
"After staying here for more than 90 days, I kind of miss this place," said Feng, wearing a black sweat suit donated by a supporter. But now he is ready to leave, Feng said.
"I want to take a bath," he said. "That's what I want to do as soon as I leave here."
February 1st, 2010
so apparently bin laden cares about global warming. like for real. he switched from anti america to...ecro friendly and lol, global warming freaks to help his campeighn. as if that makes him look anymore like a normal person.
also. i'm so fucking uber tired. for real. 3 hours of sleep and i have to stay up long enough to do load of laundry and finish cleaning my room. xp. i'm freezing too. i guess i'll go get in the shower. at least i can take a nap.
January 25th, 2010
it's safe to say that i do not know a lick of french....
if i had a demon butler...he would totally clean up all the cat puke...
January 22nd, 2010
another two am almost, trying to sleep, wanting to cry, wishing three years of my life didn't happen.
January 21st, 2010
i'm lossing tetris because mom made me help her with mario for wii. x.x the sandy wind. it won't stop blowing. help me. i faught against it for so long EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE IT WILL BLOW AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
January 20th, 2010
I'm blind...as a bat!
okamineko_142: I was a much more intelligent kid than my mom realized I think. Once my sister's friend played Ophelia in Hamlet and they let me sit in on the rehearsal and I mentioned that it was "just like Simba" and my mom laughed but it turns out it is true. XD
acenaspheru: i was the mythology braniac
acenaspheru: i had a story for evry word almost that people said
okamineko_142: I knew what a Hippogriff was BEFORE I READ HARRY POTTER . XD
acenaspheru: HAHA! OMG
acenaspheru: well it's like watching these showswith my mom
acenaspheru: where they're summoning shadow demons and incubi and all these wiccan/neo pagan things and it's like, she always talks out loud and is like "what's what?" and i CAN ANSWER HER but >< she gets mad because she doesn't realize that i've been studying just about every religion there is since i was like 12
okamineko_142: I love Paganism <
acenaspheru: i'm still trying to find one place that i agree with at least %90
okamineko_142: How can you not agree with paganism? XD It's sort of a "build your own" It's like a taco bar. They supply the meat and you do everything else how you like.
okamineko_142: XD Sorry. I'm not trying to convert you.
okamineko_142: I think I have a taco addiction btw
acenaspheru: actually i am looking into buddism
okamineko_142: I like Buddism and Hindu
okamineko_142: I guess Loki is just too much of a draw for me. >.<
acenaspheru: i swallowed the entire contents of an ash tray when i was two. i've never felt the urge to even try to smoke since then
okamineko_142: O_O Wait... what does that have to do with religion?
acenaspheru: XD nothing
okamineko_142: Oh.. okay. XD
okamineko_142: -was waaaay confused- Xd
acenaspheru: i was replying to your tobacco comment
okamineko_142: Like...the foo
okamineko_142: You see why I thoght that was so random. XD
acenaspheru: XD yes
i is sad. it was just three days ago that i was telling Rose about the tradition of leaving alchohol and roses on Poe's grave. and i hear it wasn't done this year.
i hope to be the shadowy figure some year. to share a drink with souch a wonderful man is indeed a great honor i would some day like to partake.
give a little to the dead, recieve his genious in a haze of spirits.
dream wonderful, terrible dreams my good man, dream in your beloved's welcomeing arms.
January 19th, 2010
|01:55 pm - wow, balsy waiter is balsier than long cat is long|
so i was going to do this last night but then i got side tracked with my new
pet friend. *gigglesnort* he's adorable.
anyway, i tip. even if i have to scrounge my purse to pull up loose change. and if that's the case, i explain, this is not meant to be against you, this is just honest to god all i have to give right now and i'll tip you better next time i come in. the only time i won't tip is if someone else has given a sufficiant one.
having worked from the age of around 7 to 12, i worked at the restaraunt my grandmother worked at. two nights a week. i took orders a couple of times, but mostly i was on dish detail, so i know what it's like to bust my ass and have people be shitty to me for 8 hours a night.
well this douche turned the tables and started bitching at us because we apparently didn't give him a tip last time we came. exscuse me? last time we had him, was megacon, nearly a year ago. my parents and i have had him since then, but they always make sure the waiter gets some kind of a tip, and if the service is good enough, it's over $10. my mother worked as a waitress as well for years. (ironically Cristina i completely forgot this, but she worked at Deny's too once.)
so i sat there and thought about it. and stewed on it for quite a while and i decided, fuck this. i let people walk all over me all the time and all i do is sit there and emo in a corner. so i called his ass out. he was not appologetic, we were wrong he was right and there were no two ways about it. saying crap about he doesn't care blah blah blah, i would have listened to his words more if i'd liked his tone.
at first i was feeling kinda guilty because i know someone who used to steal tips off the tables and i thought this might be what happened. but then when he simply refused to genuinely appologize and continued to make us feel like the bad guys, i deturmined he wasn't getting a tip from me. i gave half a mind to pulling what a friend of mine did once to a man way less rude. she left a note on a napkin that said "Here's you're tip, be a better waiter."
so after he was done half appologizing half being a condecending ass, another waitress came over and said she had over heard and appologized for him. you know i can understand having a bad day and just not wanting to deal with it, but you do not tell someone they didn't leave you a tip especially not in that way.
we get to the register because i don't think any of us wanted to stay after that, and it continues up there. "oh i gave you a %10 discount." like shut the fuck up i can dothis if i want. and i explained to him that we knew what it was like. and tried to explain that it was still wrong. he tells me he has "balls out to here and i don't care about this job." and i had a hard time biting back a "well than quit." i mean he was being a total ass. so he got $1 from ellie which is more than he deserves. he upset Cristina to the point of tears, and i hope he got fired. i do hope the entire restaraunt heard her and that he didn't get one single tip. oh yeah and to make her feel better, he gave her a fucking cookie. are you kidding me? i mean yay free cookie but for real. that's more of an insult than anything. sorry weetie, i'm only ten years younger than you, i don't qualify as a child anymore and sweets don't passify me.
i heard him over at a table with a kid. "you know there are starving children in Haiti who would kill for your chicken fingers. you should eat them." i always hate it when people pull that shit. do i feel sorry for the babies in other countries (and our own streets) with no food? yes i do, and if i can get published, i'm going to start a charity and do everything i can, but i'm not going to feel guilty if i don't like something. those children probably don't know what the hell chicken fingers are. and if that kids parents are good people they'll have complained about him.